Donald Trump: Birther. Sure, why not?
So now Donald Trump, having thrown his hair -- sorry, I meant his hat -- into the 2012 presidential race, has come out as a Birther. To quote Hercules: "I wish I could say I was surprised." But the only thing that's actually surprising me is that I'm not surprised. And without having my dictionary handy, I'm not sure if that's irony, dichotomy, ennui, or just me being so jaded by the whole thing that the part of my brain which handles emotional response has disconnected itself from my eyes.
But then I remember, the thing about birthers: logic is not one of their strong points. These are the same people who see conspiracies everywhere; they think there was a second gunman on the grassy knoll; they think that "the Masonic president" FDR added the masonic symbols to the back of the dollar bill to prove Masons had taken over the country. For these, I offer these three points:
1 - Birthers. Hawaii's state policy is that only immediate family members have the right to have access to someone's birth certificate. The Freedom of Information act only applies to federal documents, and how many of these pricks would like if it Obama called up their home state and asked for their birth certificate? Aside from that, freakin' Bill O'Reilly of all people has said he thinks the birther conspiriacy is absurd, pointing out that Obama's birth was announced in both Honolulu newspapers, and sardonically wondering if people think he was somehow smuggled into America as a newborn.
2 - Okay, the Warren Commission's report was so technically dense and poorly written that it didn't do itself any favors, but I can at least understand this one. It's comforting to see a more sinister force behind Kennedy's assassination than some everyman. I don't think it can be put any better than it was by Gerald Posner in Case Closed: "It is unsettling to think that a sociopathic twenty-four-year-old loser in life, armed with a $12 rifle and consumed by his own warped motivation, ended Camelot. But for readers willing to approach this subject with an open mind, it is the only rational judgement."
3 - Yeah, FDR was a Freemason. So was George Washington. So was Benjamin Franklin. But the symbols on the dollar bill are the reverse of the Great Seal of The United States. You know, that cool arrow-holding eagle with the shield. And just for arguments sake, let's say that Franklin intentionally used Freemason imagery when he designed the Seal, and that FDR ran the country according to Masonic principles. WHAT KIND OF SHADOW GOVERNMENT ADVERTISES ITS TAKEOVER? "See, that's what they WANT you to think!" But then again, that's the thing with conspiracy theorists: you can't win. Everything is just another layer to the conspiracy, until you end up like The Question: "Not conspiracies: conspiracy. Singular."
But then I remember, the thing about birthers: logic is not one of their strong points. These are the same people who see conspiracies everywhere; they think there was a second gunman on the grassy knoll; they think that "the Masonic president" FDR added the masonic symbols to the back of the dollar bill to prove Masons had taken over the country. For these, I offer these three points:
1 - Birthers. Hawaii's state policy is that only immediate family members have the right to have access to someone's birth certificate. The Freedom of Information act only applies to federal documents, and how many of these pricks would like if it Obama called up their home state and asked for their birth certificate? Aside from that, freakin' Bill O'Reilly of all people has said he thinks the birther conspiriacy is absurd, pointing out that Obama's birth was announced in both Honolulu newspapers, and sardonically wondering if people think he was somehow smuggled into America as a newborn.
2 - Okay, the Warren Commission's report was so technically dense and poorly written that it didn't do itself any favors, but I can at least understand this one. It's comforting to see a more sinister force behind Kennedy's assassination than some everyman. I don't think it can be put any better than it was by Gerald Posner in Case Closed: "It is unsettling to think that a sociopathic twenty-four-year-old loser in life, armed with a $12 rifle and consumed by his own warped motivation, ended Camelot. But for readers willing to approach this subject with an open mind, it is the only rational judgement."
3 - Yeah, FDR was a Freemason. So was George Washington. So was Benjamin Franklin. But the symbols on the dollar bill are the reverse of the Great Seal of The United States. You know, that cool arrow-holding eagle with the shield. And just for arguments sake, let's say that Franklin intentionally used Freemason imagery when he designed the Seal, and that FDR ran the country according to Masonic principles. WHAT KIND OF SHADOW GOVERNMENT ADVERTISES ITS TAKEOVER? "See, that's what they WANT you to think!" But then again, that's the thing with conspiracy theorists: you can't win. Everything is just another layer to the conspiracy, until you end up like The Question: "Not conspiracies: conspiracy. Singular."
posted by FirstOfTheFallen at 10:34 AM
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